Greetings.
​I have had thoughts on creating a dedicated page for blogs before, but until recently I have put it off for one reason or another, so I will start with my first entry today and see how it goes. This is more of a type of personal therapy experiment for me to see how this goes. Depending on if I continue in the later future will depend on how the nearer future goes and what I am able to take away from this experience. I have no expectations other than to try a new experience and see in which ways I might learn and grow, if any. Since I am making this public, I also don’t expect many to be interest in reading any or all of this. This may or may not be a daily recurrence; perhaps when I’m feeling like getting a lot of things off my chest, then I’ll create additional blogs, as I’m sure I will anyway. Moving on.

Despite the hypocritical fact that I hate the majority of social media platforms and yet am using one now for the purposes of these blogs, I have come to the conclusion that although toxicity runs rampant, while equally vaguely and moderately untamed and unchecked, I have had some countless positive experiences, introductions and departures, friendships and bonds made. For that fact, along with boosting my name, profession and skills to the worldwide public, I am grateful for social media. There are no other reasons. I detest it, and yet still feel slaved and bound to it. Without it, I would not be who I am or where I am in my life today, and yet almost on a daily basis, negativity energy manifests from seeing certain posts, reading certain articles, or even as something as simple as seeing a certain name or face or likeness. I suspect this will never truly dissipate, however I do believe that with further mental discipline, I’ll be able to overcome that negativity. Compared to where I was mentally a decade ago, I do consider my thoughts, actions, and behaviors to have improved and I am a better person because of it. Maturity perhaps, but I do believe that growth is constant and not something you can change overnight, although I have put myself in situations before, pith positive and negative, where I have literally changed overnight.

Facebook and Instagram would be my main sources of social media interaction and although Facebook owns Instagram and their Terms of Service are nearly identical, I understand that these platforms owe their account holders nothing as they are both free services. Therefore it is perfectly understandable that because of the large public reach of these platforms, and because of their free services provided to the public, if they deem any punishment onto any account, including but not limited to a permanent ban, we as the account holder have no say in their ultimate decision. It is for that reason that I have been shying away from these platforms and focused more on trying to build on myself, experience real-world things and not lose myself within the social media cesspit of shaming, badmouthing, and disgust. If anyone knows about making derogatory, demeaning, discriminatory, or just outright disgusting thoughts or comments, intentionally or unintentionally, it would be me. We have all said and done things we are not proud of. However the limiting of someone’s voice and opinions, even if in only a joking fashion, because enough people disagree with it is flat out wrong, not to mention a violation of the Constitution which is also a crime. Yet for unknown reasons, so many major companies and corporations are not held liable. Have you ever heard of someone suing Facebook because they closed their account? Lol neither have I and if we’re being completely honest there, the client would almost certainly lose because Facebook would easily have the best lawyers, but I digress.

Currently I am on a 30-day ban from making any type of public post on Facebook, although I can post on Instagram and have been doing so, and with Christmas 3-4 days away and New Years to follow, for the first time, I am not able to wish my friends and family happy holidays. Granted, I did in fact make a post which apparently others took offense to, but what else is new? I have had many bans while on Facebook, and although I could really care less about it, or even being permanently banned, the main reason it is a big deal to me is that 99% of those whom I contact, past, present, or future, business related or not, are all though Facebook and/or Instagram. If you take those platforms away, I really only have Twitter, which I rarely use, and my personal website. Aside from silencing my voice or changing the way I think and speak, vocally or digitally, there has to be a better way in order to speak to one another. I don’t know about a lot of you, but the majority of things people say or do, I brush off and could care less about; it’s just certain random things that make me tick and make my blood boil and adrenaline spike. I feel fortunate that drumming has trained me physically and mentally how to control my adrenaline, but still so many things get under my skin. Looking at it through a neutral standpoint and potentially with a positive outlook, I see this as something I do not like about myself and will be working on changing this for the betterment of myself first and foremost, and for those around me as well. In future, the last thing I would want is to have all of this negative energy build and then have someone close feed off of it and it ruin their day or worse, especially if it is a child, especially my own.

Taking a few hour break from this and coming back later. (work)
-Quick thought: I do think that a huge benefit of not having your voiced silenced is that rather that post blatant hateful messages to/about someone, with digital platforms like Facebook and others, we should be looking at what we’re saying and before saying it, reflect on it. Any negative thoughts, take a breather and let them out that way or in some other constructive way. Any positive thoughts, spread them like wildfire.